If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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