She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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