I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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