Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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