theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
