he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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