and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
