Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
