Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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