That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
