You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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