highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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