One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Mom said you looked used
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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