high people should be assigned attendants
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
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