I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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