This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
