Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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