in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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