people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
