Define "chronic" masturbator.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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