one two three fourrrrnication!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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