Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
