we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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