A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
