I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
