Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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