apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
