you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
