he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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