the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think i have herpe
just one?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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