Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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