He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
