His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
