We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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