i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
