the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
