Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
