so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
