i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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