It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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