All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
accomplished twins. life is a go
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
