I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
