I can't breathe out the right side of my face
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
