I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
