I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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