I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
