i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
