He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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