I look better un-naked...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
