Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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