I hope mine doesn't look like that
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
